You Are Enough

YOU ARE ENOUGH!  You. Are. Enough.

What primary emotion do you feel as you read those words?

Does your mouth start to form a smile or are your eyes filling with tears because it’s something you’ve needed to hear, let alone believe, for some time now?

Are you shaking your head in disbelief because you feel anything- OK, everything- but enough?

I feel like I’ve spent most of my life- at least seasons of it- trying to believe it.

In my mind, I’ve thought things like:

IF I was enough, _________ wouldn’t have left me. (This is a BIG one!!)

IF I was enough, _________ would like/love/appreciate/respect me.

IF I was enough, _________ would still talk to me.

IF I was enough, I would have been chosen for_________.

IF I was enough, _________ wouldn’t/would have happened.

IF I was enough, I would have achieved _________ by now.

I can give you fifty more statements just like this one, but you get the point.

I know I’m not alone in this; I know because I can recall the countless conversations I’ve had with children, teenagers, and adults alike… all with similar versions of the same story: I am NOT enough, because IF I were _________ wouldn’t/would have happened to me !

It seems so irrational when you see it laid out on paper like this. I mean, COME ON! I know better, right? Don’t I?
Do you?
Do YOU know better?
I hope so… but I wonder.

Many of us feel as if our value changes like the tides of the sea, being based on what others say, think, feel, give (or not).  Our value, going up and down as if it’s part of the stock exchange, because someone walked away from us, didn’t love us how we deserved to be loved, we haven’t “arrived” yet, didn’t get the job we wanted, wasn’t recognized by so-and-so… and the music plays on.

IF you felt as if you weren’t enough, would you even be able to recognize it?  I ask because I encounter others on a daily basis who remind me of a toddler, standing before their distracted parent, jumping up and down, screaming, “LOOK AT ME!!! LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO! LOOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEE!”  I’ve seen so many people trying to prove their worth by how much they are “needed”, by what they “have”, what they can “do”, who knows their name, and even by who they are married to or are dating.

Would they do that IF they felt they were enough? So I know this is a bigger issue than most even realize.

As I’ve mentioned: I’ve been there.  Lord, have I been there- more times that I care to admit.

I’ve tried to prove myself, nearly killed myself, making sure I was seen as someone worthy.  However, the issue has always been that I was putting myself in the scope of the wrong lens.

I’ve placed myself in front of man- that fickle being whose standards are always changing.  That being who has a tendency to see me through the eyes of their past, their biasness, their own opinions and insecurities.  And what’s worse is, I’ve believed them when they’ve thought me to be insufficient.

It took me far too long to realize that I’m enough and I’m sufficient simply because God says I am and honestly, who would know better than Him?

2 Corinthians 3:5 says, “Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God.”

I read this scripture and I’m immediately transported back in time to about 20 years ago when I wrote my first play for our church (a time when I was more insecure in myself than I had ever been in my entire life). I remember standing in the sanctuary and feeling as if it was something God was prompting me to do.  I distinctly remember saying, out loud mind you,  Are you sure you have the right person? I then proceeded to give Him my full name AND date of birth (not even kidding).  I was TERRIFIED!  I’d never written a play, had no idea where to start, and I knew for certain that I would be judged for it- and judged I was.

It was a success (as much as a first play on a tight budget could be) as were the others that followed (and I don’t take credit for any of it), but I could still hear the voices in my head saying, You have NO place doing this!  WHO do you think you are?  There are others more qualified than you! Even worse, I could hear others saying similar things; others wondering why “I” was chosen to “stand in the spotlight.”  I agreed with them.. why me?  Who was I, this girl with a broken past, to be allowed to do anything?

I look back and have to admit, it’s been a lifetime of that; the “Why HER?” statements being thrown around by hurricane force winds, causing me to doubt myself even more (that’s the point of negativity I suppose):

I’ve been married for 25 years this year and have a beautiful family, against all odds- WHY HER?

Self-published a book over 15 years ago- WHY HER?

Bought those pair of shoes- WHY HER? 

Was honored to speak before our church about understanding our worth (oh, the irony)- WHY HER?

Formed a company to help save our youth and their families- WHY HER?

Got a job at (fill in the blank) – WHY HER?

Won an award at (fill in the blank)- WHY HER?

Went on vacation (for goodness sakes! Yes! I’ve really heard that)- WHY HER?

NONE on this list are here so I can boast- I’ve listed them to make a point. And I WISH I could say I’m being dramatic- I WISH I could say this is paranoia, but I can’t.  I’ve heard “WHY HER?” so many times that I should write a book about it!  And every time I’ve heard it, I’ve thought, Yeah, why me?  I don’t deserve any of it.  Why am I not rotting in hell? I’m not “good” enough.  

And you know what? On my own- on OUR own- we aren’t “good enough.”  But God…

I credit ALL of the good things in my life to my belief and faith in God and the grace, mercy, and faithfulness HE has shown me.  Still, He reminds me, I had to be obedient and faithful along the way, too.  I’ve had to work my tail off, not make excuses, not blame others for my shortcomings or failure, I’ve had to push through things others wouldn’t dream of, and I’ve had to silence the voices that said I was a lost cause and try to forget the people that gave up on me- the ones that literally said, to my face, “You’ll never make it!”

I’m enough because God says I’m enough- in HIM- YOU ARE ENOUGH!

So I ask you, my friend, what’s your story?  What has happened in your life? What things have been said to you? What lies have you believed?  What have you had to push through to get to where you are?  And most importantly, when will you believe that YOU ARE ENOUGH?  You are enough because God says you are and His voice should be the loudest one you hear- anything else is just noise.  Once you realize that- once it really clicks- you’ll find a freedom unlike anything you’ve ever known.  There is something special about living your life finally realizing that you have nothing to prove…

YOU ARE ENOUGH!

 

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